This is week three of the blog and the focus here is to compose a present scene. This week's reading was about What is Creative Nonfiction? (Lee Gutkind) | Making Scenes in Memoir (Lee Martin) After reading and annotating this weeks reading assignment, I will create a scene in first person and present tense . In this process, I will focus on description to appeal to the five senses. I will also include three pictures for visual in order to show readers about my current scene.
This brain injury from Iraq always robs of a good sleep. It’s 09:30 pm, the sun has set and it’s dark now. I have been laying in bed for the past 3 hours, hoping to fall asleep listening to the television with Family Guy on the background.Taking sleeping drugs and alcohol might be the only way to fall asleep tonight, however, I’m out of time and now I have to get up and go to work. This is a moment in my present life. As I put my uniform on, I look around the house and I can’t help but think how quiet it is. I have lived in this three bedroom house for past five years now, and the only room I use is the living room and my bedroom. It feels very empty at night especially because two years ago, this house was filled with laughter and smiles. I can still see my son trying to run from the living room into the dining room. My two dogs would be fighting with the cat, meanwhile, the cat would defend herself with her hisses and scratches. The television in the living room would be very loud with the volume all the way up with Family Guy or American Dad. I could still smell my fiance cooking an Italian dinner again. But that was two years, and today it is empty. I turned the lights off from the outside and looking into the rooms which seems like a lifeless dark empty void. I quickly shut the door and ran towards my car. The ride to work from Ridley to Chester is a ten minute slow drive. The only thing that comes to mind is that I should sell that house and buy another one. Maybe then I could create new memories. However, while trying to justify or reason this strain of thought, my mind answers back with why? And what are you running away from? Even though my life with my ex-fiance and son is over, I have always wondered if I could prevent it from ending. Maybe if I didn’t volunteer for Iraq, or maybe if I would have just gotten help after the brain injury that sent me from Iraq into Germany. I could probably pinpoint why I am the way I am today, or even stayed at the hospital bed to get more testing. Even if the doctors would have dope me into more drugs and looked and feel more like a zombie. I would probably learn more and gotten treated for this post traumatic stress that everybody keeps talking about. I finally got into the parking lot of Chester State Corrections where I work. As I get out of my car someone says thank you for your service and they noticed my Freemason insignia and license plate that says Iraq War Veteran. I smiled and looked down, I usually don’t know what to say. It gets awkward when people say that to me or to other veterans.To me it feels fake when people say it, like it’s rehearsed from the movies or what you’re supposed to say to someone after they served. I use to say the same things to other veterans when I was younger. I continued to walk and pretend that I didn’t hear it. Then I remembered my other soldier that was in that hospital with me that gotten his eye and leg blown off from an improvised explosives talked to another Marine. He said,“Everybody loves Soldiers and Marines. And then we come home.” This is a moment in my preset life.
6 Comments
Sabatino
9/18/2018 08:42:38 pm
Typically, I don’t post my personal opinions in the blog comments of a student post. But this time, I wanted to say I was moved by this piece. The writing comes to life with emotion and moments of raw honesty. I think it takes guts to write about such a personal topic—especially when a writer explores painful events from his life while he also provides insights that let the reader into his heart and mind.
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9/20/2018 11:08:21 am
This is a great blog that truly demonstrates the aftermath of life as a veteran. There are no words to express the level of gratitude I personally have for sacrificing your life. The reason I always say thank you is because soldiers knowingly put their life on the line for wars that possibly could have been avoided. There is no certain way to tell if this war was started from people with egos or behind the love of money. To put your life on the line for others knowing it could have been a battled avoided I find extremely condemn-able. I understand what it is like to suffer from non sleep due to issues with your brain. Your a blessing to the earth and I tip my hat.
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9/25/2018 03:37:40 am
Hey Ray!
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coleman clark
9/21/2018 06:15:50 am
I read this and was able to finally see through the eyes of a veteran. you caught just the right amount of details that it made it all real for the reader. I loved this read.
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marquita
9/22/2018 05:40:38 pm
I think this would be good for the narrative project, how things could have been if time versed. Just to add, you're the most neatest man I know.
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Nick D'Aversa
9/28/2018 07:54:46 pm
This just spews raw unfiltered emotion in the best way possible. It's such a compelling read and I agree wholeheartedly with everyone else that this would be an amazing narrative project choice.
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Ray CabanceI'm a student at Delaware County Community College and I major in Criminal Justice. Currently working for the State of Pennsylvania Department of Corrections. Archives
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